Sermons

'Revisiting Our Covenant Group Ministries:'

"Revisiting Our Covenant Group Ministries:"

Tending to One Another"

A Sermon by Charles Blustein Ortman

December 2, 2001

At the Unitarian Church of Montclair

67 Church Street, Montclair, New Jersey 07042

973-744-6276 WWW.UUMontclair.org

A skit presentation of the Covenant Group Leaders

By Charles Blustein Ortman

Charlie Ortman: Good morning ladies and gentlemen. We welcome you to this session of the leaders covenant group as we join the group already in progress. This presentation has been prerecorded in order to accommodate the passage of time, while still providing you, the viewing audience, with access to the ongoing conversation at various points in the course of the session.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the covenant group concept and with its process, just a brief explanation is in order. Nearly a year ago, our Church began this small group ministry program in order to provide members with an opportunity to join others in the religious quest of both intimacy and ultimacy. The hope is that members of the groups will be able to connect with other members in an ongoing structured, and yet comfortable, format.

There are currently 10 groups of up to 10 members functioning within the church. The groups have any number of different focuses ranging from diversity within families, to ethics, to Buddhist or Jewish perspectives, to dealing with stress, to technology, to jazz, to reading Unitarian Universalist as well as other authors.

This group meeting here is made up of the leaders of the various groups. Besides leading their own groups, these leaders also meet as a group on a monthly basis with one or both of the ministers. As we join the leaders group now, Rev. Judy Tomlinson has just lighted the chalice and provided the group with today's opening reading...

Judy Tomlinson: I hope that you enjoyed our reading by UU minister, Rev. Mary Teibot. Mary does a nice job of inviting us to consider our better selves, and then stepping into that vision.

So, it's hard to believe a whole month has gone by since our last meeting. Let's have our check-in so we can let each other know what's been going on in our lives. Please remember that this is the more personal part of our sharing. We'll talk about what's going on in your groups a bit later.

Charlie Ortman: Please note that the content of these check-ins and later portions of the program are indeed fictitious and do not necessarily represent the experiences of the speaker.

Dorothy Rogers: You know, I really look forward to this part of our meeting. It's like we all have the chance to share our own personal joys and concerns. I feel like I'm getting to know you all, and like you're getting to know me.

So, let me tell you about my month. It's been incredible! When I first came to Montclair, I thought I was incredibly lucky to land a job in my field, right here were I wanted to live. In the last few weeks though, two different headhunters who were trying to recruit me for other jobs have approached me. Can you believe that! I'm going to stay put in the job I have, but I've got to tell you, it sure feels nice to be wanted.

Charlie Ortman: It is nice to share good news with friends who care. But news isn't always good, and…

Ed Specht: I'm sure glad for you, Dorothy. By I haven't had such a great month myself. My company has announced that it's downsizing and I just learned I'm going to be without a job altogether by the first of the year. I'm not sure how we're going to get along, but I guess we'll find some way.

Everyone: (Chime in with a sentence or two of encouragement.)

Charlie Ortman: Of course it's rare when someone's news is all good or all bad. Most people's check-ins are a flow of both ups and downs...

Joy Daniel: We had the best Thanksgiving I think we've ever had. The kids were all with us, and the grandchildren. For three days we read books together, took first steps. It was so warm out, that we could actually go to the park to play at the playground. The Thanksgiving meal turned out beautifully -- and we only forgot one item in the microwave oven that went unserved.

I have to admit that, by the time everyone left on Saturday, I was ready to see them go. But it was just great for those few wonderful days to have everyone right here with us.

Then I went back to work last Monday, and all hell had broken loose. There were three resignations in my department, and my supervisor was talking about the heads that would be rolling...

Charlie Ortman: And the check-in continues for 30 or 40 minutes until everyone has had the chance to tell their story, and to hear everyone else's.

Judy Tomlinson: ...So, all in all, I'd say it's been a pretty good month for me.

Now let's take a look at some of the leadership issues that we want to address tonight. How are things going in your groups?

Michael McTigue/Doug Raynor: Things are going great in our group. In fact, I'm afraid they are going so well that we're going to pass that un-magical number of 10 next month. I guess were going to have to figure out how to form two groups out of what has been a very wonderful and pleasant single group.

Do we really have to do that? Do we have to divide the groups to keep them at 10 or under?

Jane Gaertner/Holly English: I know how you're feeling, Michael. Last year when we went past the number 10, we just didn't want to breakup what had been such a good thing. But we decided to trust in the process. Now our ethics group is two groups with eight in each. And six of those are people who became new members of the church within the last year, and a couple of them aren't even members yet.

Judy Tomlinson: It's tough to divide the groups, but when you do, it makes room for growth -- room for the groups to grow, and room for the church to grow, too!

Michael McTigue/Doug Raynor: I suppose you're right. I'll let you know how it goes this month and maybe in January we'll have to talk about making a decision.

Judy Tomlinson: So what else's going on?

Charlie Ortman: Note the caring, professional, non-anxious, ministerial presence with which Rev. Tomlinson engages in her work with the leaders. This will be helpful to them later in their groups when it's their turn to minister to others.

Judy Tomlinson: What's happening in some of the other groups?

Barnaby Feder/Leanne Schowenwiesner: I'm a little concerned because our group isn't growing at all. We had six members when we started out; one moved away over the summer, and the same five of us continue to meet.

Ed Specht: Well, I'm just starting up a new Jazz group, and so I've been wondering about group membership, too. How comfortable is the flow of conversation among the five of you?

Barnaby Feder/Leanne Schowenwiesner: It feels comfortable to me. We get along just fine. We start talking about the relationship and implications of technology and ethics, and more often than not, the time is gone before we know it.

Joy Daniel: Well, how have you tried to reach out to others in the congregation? To invite more people into the group?

Barnaby Feder/Leanne Schowenwiesner: I always encourage the group members to talk it up at the Coffee Hour, but I'm not sure they do. I think they kind of like things as they are. Maybe I should tell them some of the things about growth that Judy and Jane were talking about. Maybe we can do a better job at reaching out to others. I'll let you know how it goes.

Dorothy Rogers: You know, this raises another question I've been thinking about. We have 10, covenant groups in our church. If each group averages between five and 10 members, that makes about 75 or 80 church members who are participating in the program. That's out of over 500 adult church members. I wonder if we need to do a better job of communicating what a great thing this is to the rest of the congregation.

Michael McTigue/Doug Raynor: I've been wondering about that, too. I know that when I first started doing this, I wondered if it would be just one more things on my schedule -- one more demand that would leave me feeling even more spent. It didn't take too long to figure out that this is one of my favorite monthly activities, though. I don't feel like I'm being depleted. This may sound funny, but I feel more like I'm being completed. I get a lot more out of this then I put into it, I think.

Jane Gaertner/Holly English: Me, too. So how can we help the rest of the congregation know about the covenant groups and what a great opportunity they provide for really getting to know -- and to be known by -- others.

Our worship services are a great way to explore the larger questions in life, they really are. But the covenant groups, I don't know, the covenant groups provide a really wonderful, intimate setting for exploring those same important questions. How can we let people know more about them?

Joy Daniel: Maybe that's the answer: the worship services. Maybe we can get a chance to participate in a worship service and tell folks what the groups mean to us and to all the people who are already in them.

Barnaby Feder/Leanne Schowenwiesner: That's a great idea! I wonder how we can become part of a worship service so that we can let others know what an important opportunity this is...

Charlie Ortman And so, as the group approaches the two-hour mark, a plan is designed and strategies for its implementation are noted. The final discussion item is the traditional "likes and wishes."

Michael McTigue/Doug Raynor: I really like being able to take our time on the check-in, and I'm pleased that we've come up with a good plan for a way that we can help the church know more about what we're doing. I'm excited about us doing something in a worship service. I hope next time we meet we can spend some time working on how to prepare an ongoing group to form new groups.

Dorothy Rogers: I like everything about the group tonight including these delicious cookies. Thanks for making them, Judy.

Charlie Ortman: Everyone gets a chance to share their likes and wishes and then it's time for the closing reading. Then it it's time to go. But they'll be back, because they are your covenant group leaders, lay ministers to the congregation, as it grows into the future.

A Sermon by Charles Blustein Ortman

There's a story, perhaps familiar to some of you called The Rabbi's Gift. This is my spin on the story, based on M. Scott Peck's spin, based on an old medieval tale. This is one of my all-time favorite stories.

There was an abbey that had once been the site of great learning and spiritual exploration. It was known far and wide for the gentle monks who lived there and worked together. Its gardens were beautiful as well as bountiful. The generous monks graciously provided produce to those who were hungry for food, and solace to those who were hungry in spirit.

But recently the abbey had fallen upon hard times. People from the village stopped visiting the brothers. The gardens didn't look as nice. Singing in the chapel services became most discordant. The monks rarely sought one another's company, and often at meals—they snapped at one another.

Abbott Thomas didn't know what to make of the situation. No matter what he tried, the monks just got more surly. Off a ways, in the deep woods surrounding the monastery, there was a little hut that a Rabbi from a nearby town occasionally used for a hermitage. Through their many years of prayer and contemplation the old monks had become a bit psychic, so they could always sense when the Rabbi was in his hermitage. "The Rabbi is in the woods, the Rabbi is in the woods again," they would whisper to each other.

As he agonized over the imminent demise of his order, it occurred to the Abbot at one such time to visit the hermitage and ask the Rabbi, by some possible chance he could offer any advice that might save the monastery. So he decided to visit his old friend, Rabbi Jacob. He left early one morning and told the monks he'd be back in time for vespers.

Rabbi Jacob was delighted to see his friend. It had been far too long. The two men visited over a hearty lunch and then Jacob asked, "What's wrong Thomas? I can sense something is troubling you. What is it?"

Thomas, relieved by the invitation to the rabbi's counsel, told his friend all that had come to pass at the abbey. When he finally got to the part about the insults he'd overheard in the dining room, he was surprised to see an expression of puzzlement on his friend's face.

"I had expected to hear quite a different story," Jacob confessed. "I had it on good authority, that a magi (which is a person of great wisdom and understanding) had come to live in your abbey. I'd have thought things would be going quite differently for you. This is quite a mystery."

The two men talked for a while more and then it was time for Thomas to head for home. All the while on his walk back, Thomas thought about what the rabbi had said. Jacob had it on good authority that a magi (magus) had come to live in the abbey? There might be a magi?! Could it be one of the monks? Which one? None of them seemed likely.

Over the next couple of days, Thomas called each of the brothers into his office. He told them about his conversation with Rabbi Jacob, and asked if they had any idea of who might be the magi. Of course they all honestly denied any awareness whatever.

In no time at the entire abbey was abuzz. Who could the magi be? No one knew; it could be any of them. Some even suspected that they them self might be the magi.

Things began to change over night. One mustn't be rude to a magi, better to err on the side of graciousness even to a non-magi, than to come up short with you know who. Those that thought there was a possibility that they were the magi began to think that, not only should they extend their best friendliness to those around them, but they'd really ought to try to live up to the standards of a magi. Yes, things began to change around the abbey.

Once again the monks' singing became harmonious. So did their meals and their greetings. The flowers and the vegetables in the gardens even began to bloom and grow in greater abundance. The people in the village once again returned to the abbey seeking succor and sustenance.

One afternoon as the townspeople were heading out of the gate, Abbott Thomas heard one of them comment to another, "I don't know what happened here, but this place is filled with the greatest joy I have ever seen. And the brothers are the most loving people I have ever met." It was then that Abbott Thomas recognized the gift his old friend had given.

And it happened, that some of the younger men who came to visit the monastery started to talk more and more with the old monks. After a while one asked if he could join them. Then another. And another. So within a few years the monastery had once again become a thriving order, and, thanks to the Rabbi's gift, a vibrant center of light and spirituality in the realm.

I recently had the opportunity to visit a church in another city. It was an eye opening experience. I'd heard about this kind of church culture before, but I'd never really experienced anything quite like it.

Soon after my arrival, the minister lit into one of the custodians, right in front of me, tearing him up one side and down the other. Then shortly after that, the two custodians started going at each other. Then the two custodians and the minister were, all three, engaged in a squabbling match.

Finally, several members of the congregation joined in to the fracas. I'm not talking about theological or even political debate. I'm talking about bickering over how and where some chairs were going to be set up for a program that was going to take place. There was an immediate impasse that looked insurmountable. This was a very surly group of church people.

I'm usually always grateful for our own congregation, but I've got to tell you – my appreciation for this church and for the way we do things, here, soared during my visit to the other church.

We do have something special here. At times it's more pronounced than at other times. At times we do it better than at other times. And what it is that we have, I think, is a strong sense of community.

Joan England of the University of Michigan writes, "Community is a state of being together in which people lower their defenses, and learn to accept and rejoice in differences among people. The transcendence of rugged individualism to soft individualism is the basis of community." We have developed much of that basis here.

We began our covenant Group Ministries Program a year ago in order to heighten our opportunities for building community. We're not in danger here, at the Unitarian Church of Montclair, of dwindling to naught or of becoming a surly bunch of self-serving naval gazers. We do know something about community. We do know something about respecting one another.

In this last year we've begun to learn something about being even more intentional, about building community even better, more effectively so that more of us can have access to the connections that will enable us to grow spiritually, and to do the work of our lives with an even greater focus of justice and compassion.

In your Order of Service this morning there is a brochure that gives you a pretty good idea of how the covenant groups are structured and how they function. There is a list of the current group leaders and the various focus topics of their groups. We all owe a debt of gratitude to these leaders for piloting this lay ministry program of our church.

We've learned a lot over the last year about what works and what doesn't. The program is still new; we'll continue to learn and continue to adjust. I'm very proud of our Covenant Group Ministries program and of those who make it work. Still though, I have a concern.

My concern is that there are about 80 members of the congregation participating. That's only about 16% of our membership. If that's all that want or need to be in a covenant group, that's fine. But I have to imagine that there are many more who might benefit.

In our church we can promote the possibilities of transformation that will change our lives and the life of the communities around us. Eventually, what we do here does indeed change the world. Our church is a microcosm of the world and our covenant groups are a microcosm of the church.

There is not only one magi among us here – I suspect there are many. And we have the opportunity to know and to be known by those other magi. There is not only one poor soul here who struggles to stay on the path of a meaningful life –there are many. And we have the opportunity to know and to be known by those other pilgrims who are also on the path. Heaven knows we that since September 11^th we need all the time we can get with both magi and sincere pilgrim alike.

We need one another. And we not only need one another in a general sense, we need to be connected—specifically—in deep ways that allow our spirits to be touched and held by others, and in ways that help us to reach outward and touch and hold the spirits of others lovingly and caringly. That happens best in small groups of people and that's why we have the covenant groups. They're here for you to have more meaningful relationships within your church so that you can have a more meaningful relationship with your church – so that we can be an ever more vibrant center of light and spirituality.

If your relationship with the Church is all that you want it to be already, that's great. And I suspect that you may be one of the Magi. I don't say that facetiously, I suspect you are truly getting what you need for the journey in your own way.

But if your relationship with the Church isn't all you want it to be, maybe you'd like to get involved with one of the groups. So, call on one of the leaders. Maybe you'd like to make a suggestion for the formation of a new group. There are a lot of possibilities. It's up to you to redeem those possibilities for the experience you want to have here.

The covenant groups can provide a way for us all to minister to each other and to be ministered to. In a congregation of our size, the professional ministers cannot realistically be there for everyone at all times. As a part of a religious community, don't we want to make sure that there is always someone there for anyone who might be in need? In this way everyone can literally share in our ministry.

This is not a new adventure so much as a new way of trying to do what this congregation has always tried to do from the very beginning. It is an attempt to create a community—a liberal religious community; to gather regularly; to develop strong personal relationships; to explore the history and the literature of Unitarian Universalism; and to go about creating a new and a better world, for ourselves and for those around us.

So that's the message today. It's not a lot of details and business about this program of the church. It's an invitation to engage on an intimate level with others exploring some of the ultimate questions of a lifetime. We come to church not only to partake of the sacred, but also to partake of the sacred community. And we are the builders of that community.

I do suspect that in this room and in this congregation, we have Magi among us. And if we are wise enough, deep enough to explore that possibility on an intimate level among ourselves, like Abbot Thomas, we too might overhear visitors saying of us, "I don't know what happened here, but this place is filled with the greatest joy I have ever seen…and the most loving people I have ever met."

Our task is the age-old religious task: To love the Holy and to love one another with in it.

Let our plan then be to do that the best we can.