Some of you are familiar with the history of the genesis of this congregation. Back in 1897 a small group of women got together, called themselves the Unitarian Women’s Alliance, and created a Sunday School. They wanted to provide a liberal religious education for their children. And so they did.

But they did more than that. They created for themselves a community–a liberal religious community. They gathered regularly; they developed strong personal relationships; they explored the history and the literature of Unitarianism. And they set about to create a better world by providing their children with a religious background and with a religious experience that would make a difference in their lives. After a while of course, the men felt left out, and so they too were invited to become a part of the community. And this congregation was born.

From that time to this, including various periods of ups and downs, the congregation has grown. It has expanded in numbers and, we’d like to think, in depth of experience.

Five years ago, shortly after my arrival as your new minister, the congregation went through a very elaborate process that we called a Vision Quest. The outcome of that process was a pretty clear indication that members wanted basically two things from their association here.

You said that you want the experience of community: a place where you are known and accepted by others whom you know and accept; a place where you can be challenged and inspired, and transformed.

You also said that you want opportunities to give back to the world that has been so generous to you. You want to serve each other and the broader community in ways that will make a difference. In short you said that you want to be active in the shared ministry of this congregation.

Nobody was particularly lamenting that these kinds of opportunities weren’t here. Rather, you said that you were here for these kinds of opportunities. You said that you hoped we could do even better at connecting and serving.

Just last spring, our Canvass Committee took a survey. As you were asked for you annual pledge, you were also asked a couple of questions. "What do you especially appreciate about what’s going on in our church? And what can we do even better?

Not surprisingly, to a very large extent, the outcome of last year’s survey was nearly identical to the outcome of the Vision Quest five years earlier. You appreciate experiences that enhance the spirit of religious community, and you also appreciate clearly envisioned opportunities to serve the community and the world. And, while you said that you appreciate what we have, and what we offer, it was clear that you want even more.

Even I can begin to recognize a pattern here. What we say we want is indeed here, but not necessarily in sufficient quantity. We want what our founding mothers had back in 1897–a close circle of kindred spirits who want to know, and grow with, and serve with one another.

There is another pattern worth noticing. This one is a bit more disturbing, but it’s one in which we are not alone. It occurs in many, if not most, UU congregations.

While we are a growing congregation, we manage to maintain only about half of our level of growth. That is, about half of those who choose to become members of our congregation also leave within their first three years of membership. Some of this is due to the mobile society in which we live, as some of these folks move on to other parts of the country. But that is not the case for most of those who leave. Perhaps a larger reason is that there are too many who come through our doors who needs are not easily met by our limited opportunities for intimate community.

Studies show that about 75% of Unitarian Universalists are introverts. That doesn’t happen to be my own persuasion. But it is significant enough that we need to take very seriously the responsibility for creating opportunities for retiring individuals to be drawn out and into our community.

What we have here, at the Unitarian Church of Montclair, is very good. That’s why there are so many of us here. But what we have could be much more, and even better, and more meaningful.

For quite some time I’ve been aware of this condition, but quite honestly, I didn’t know what to do about it. There’s an old rule of thumb regarding viability of membership in churches. If a new member does not establish a close circle of friends in their congregation within the first year, they’ll be gone by the third.

But what’s a minister to do? Over the years, we have worked at creating opportunities for folks to get together. Various members of the congregation have begun different groups for various purposes. I’ve tried to be supportive and to start a number of groups myself. Frankly, it’s been a very hit or miss effort.

Just this past summer though, I became acquainted with a new program–well it’s actually a very old program–but newly adapted for UU congregations. My esteemed colleague, Paul Mueller, of the New Brunswick congregation introduced me to the idea of covenant group ministries. His enthusiasm for the program is quite infectious. Using covenant groups is a systematic approach to creating meaningful small groups within the larger congregation, thereby building the kind of religious community that we say we want.

I invited Paul to make a presentation at our Church Board retreat this past September. The Board was immediately taken by the idea and has encouraged Judy Tomlinson and myself to begin the program here in our church.

With 500 adult members, 250 children and still growing, we aren’t ever likely to experience again an intimacy of the whole congregation like that which was enjoyed here so long ago. That means, true to our word, we have been willing to forsake some of our own personal feelings of comfort and security in order to make welcome others who would be well served by our liberal religious tradition. But that’s no reason we too can’t enjoy, within our expanding congregation, a close circle of kindred spirits who we want to know and be known by, and with whom we want to learn and grow and serve.

To that end we will begin a Covenant Group Ministries Program in January. It will take a little while to get off the ground but, in the end, I think it will dramatically change the way we do church. It will enable us to better give and receive those opportunities for intimacy and for ultimacy that are at the core of our being here. In the end, it will enable us to better and more fully participate in the shared ministry that is the life of this church.

What are Covenant Groups?

They are a new development on an old idea that has been a part of Unitarian Universalist congregations for a long time. Many of our older members will remember The Extended Family groups. The friendships made in those groups still continue. The Extended Families were created to provide social connections and support. Covenant groups are similar but add spiritual and religious connections and support to that agenda.

There is an emphasis on deepening and developing relationships among congregational members. Societies and churches are finding that, not only are new members helped through Covenant Groups to find friends in their congregation, but older members are also rediscovering what it was that brought them to the congregation in the first place–the development of relationships with others, and the opportunity to have meaningful adult discussions about matters of ultimate concern.

A Covenant Group is made up of no more than ten members. Since these groups meet in private homes the group has a member who agrees to be a host/hostess for the meeting. They can meet as often as they choose, but at least once each month. There is always an empty chair and with it an open invitation to others to come and join the group.

A lay minister leads each group, with an associate. These leaders, the lay ministers will always be members of the congregation. As the group grows beyond its limit of 10 members, the associate will become the lay minister for the new group.

Covenant groups can be formed around many different focuses:

• Affinity groups, in which the members have a common interest, such as Buddhism, parents of teens, second career, and so on.
• Diverse groups, in which the members do not share any particular characteristic, other than meeting in a thoughtful Unitarian Universalist environment.
• Interest groups, in which people with a common interest, such as yoga, reading, forms of meditation, spiritual paths like Christianity or Humanism, and the like, seek to pursue that interest; again, in a thoughtful Unitarian Universalist environment.

Can anyone be in a Covenant Group, or is it only members of the Unitarian Church of Montclair? The groups will be open to anyone, whether a member or not, who agrees to the structure of these groups.

Structure? There’s a Structure? Yes!

Meetings last for two hours. They begin with Chalice Lighting and a short reading from a Unitarian Universalist source. About 45 minutes is spent with a "check in" of what has been going on in the group member’s lives, at least what they choose to share. A topic is introduced, in keeping with the group’s goals or interests. Toward the end of each session there is time for sharing likes and wishes, which will then be used by

the leaders in guiding and shaping the next meeting. The gathering concludes with a set of closing words.

The important thing is that the groups are relational. They are steeped in UU tradition (through the readings) and are not about program. First, they are about the people who are in the groups, and second, they are about exploring life issues through the designated focus and with in a religious context. That’s what makes them a ministry.

For those of you who might be feeling a little skeptical, Rev. Glen Turner, district Executive of the New England District of the UUA writes:

In East Brunswick, where the program began not quite a year ago, there are identified groups for writers, pagans, middle-aged men, wild women, parents in gay and lesbian families. They have a group call Body, Mind and Spirit that does physical exercise and meditation together, a group for young adults, and another that focuses on Zen Buddhism.

In their congregation of 250 adult members, more than 90 are active in at least one of the groups. Paul Mueller reports that the program has re-energized the entire congregation. Similar reports have come from growing numbers of U.U. congregations across the continent that have adopted the covenant ministry group programs.

These congregations have reported increased participation of members in all areas of church life. They have reported incredible growth in financial contributions. They report growth in membership through an increasing retention of newer and older members alike. And they report a greater sense of community spirit and satisfaction of members.

Obviously, members of congregations are never required to belong to any of the groups. That would not be very UU-like, and the groups are very much in synch with our Principles and Purposes. You will certainly be invited to join a group though, and even encouraged to do so.

The covenant groups will provide a way for us all to minister to each other and to be ministered to. In a congregation of our size, the professional ministers cannot realistically be there for everyone at all times. I wish I had more time, but the truth is I don’t. And yet as a part of a religious community, don’t we want to make sure that there is always someone there for anyone who might be in need. In this way the ministry is literally shared by everyone.

This is not a new adventure so much as a new way of trying to do what this congregation has always tried to do from the beginning. It is an attempt to create a community–a liberal religious community; to gather regularly; to develop strong personal relationships; to explore the history and the literature of Unitarian Universalism; and to go about creating a new and a better world, for ourselves and for those around us.

Sometime in January, Judy Tomlinson and I will meet with the first group of ten leaders. Between now and then we will be talking with a number of you about being one of those lay ministers. We hope that you will approach us with your interests as well. After the meeting in January we hope you will all be hearing a great deal more about the covenant groups, and that you will feel encouraged and invited to be a part of this very vital and hopeful program.

If you have come this morning for a spiritually uplifting message, I hope you find it in these words. Your church takes you, your interests and your needs very seriously. Together, we are going to make every effort to be sure that your spiritual needs are met.

To be uplifted we have to first be held. To be held, we must also hold. Together, we can create such a spiritually uplifting opportunity with and for one another.

The late Unitarian Universalist minister Kenneth Patton wrote:

We come to church, not only to partake of the sacred, but to partake of the sacred community, of which we are the builders.

May we ever find both in great abundance.